Transformers is a bust!

All I can say is if you are a late 20’s to mid 30’s and you grew up with the Transformers DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT see this movie. Even if you’re not a fan the movie has a whole bunch of plot holes and the action scenes are too busy.

Quick run down of the plot holes… don’t read on if you plan on seeing the movie.

1. Transformers come to earth following the Allspark that Megatron followed to earth over 80 years ago. Megatron’s intention was to use the Allspark to transform the technology of Earth into more Deceptacons and to wipe out the people of earth and make Earth a new Cybertron.Problem is we are told in the movie that ALL of our current technology stems from the finding of Megatron and the backward engineering of his own technology.
2. The Allspark is this giant cube that has had the Hoover Dam built around it to mask its signal (in the form of Radiation) from everyone else but when Bubblebee touches it in a certain way it condenses itself down into a small cube (30-40 cm) which is taken from the Hoover Dam when the Deceptacons attack.My problem is not the fact that a giant cube became a tiny little one… I’m sure they could happen :P My problem with this bit is: although the size of the item changed surely the mass should remain the same, just more compact. There is no way a boy could carry that sucker, even less likely that he could run through the streets with it tucked under his arm while robots chase and shoot at him.
3. The Robots can hack a defense system in 10 seconds but can’t stay out of the freakin garden when they are told to!
4. At a time of crisis a government advisor is able to no only make a copy of a classified item, she is able to leave the base and take the copied item to a residental home for a hacker to take a look at! What the heck is that about, if there is a crisis wouldn’t the base have been locked down?
5. We have this item called an Allspark, the giant “don’t care about humans” robots are after it. It was hidden inside a dam because it’s energy signature could be read from practically anywhere. What do you do… Give it to a kid and take it and the kid to a highly populated city to “hide” it.WTF!
6. Giant robots are fighting in the city and destroying cars and buildings but even after 10 minutes of fighting cars are still casually driving down the street!
7. Product placement was overdone. How many times did we have to see a GMC grill? Guess they didn’t have a truck partner cause Optimus only had the Autobot insignia on him. There was also Mountain Dew, iPod, Apple Computers and HP to name but a few.When will movies get back to being about the plot and less about the companies that want to “partner” with them.
8. The movie’s tagline: Their War • Our World is a little too similar to AVP: Alien Vs Preditor which was It’s our planet… it’s their war. And really doesn’t take into account that what Megatron wanted was to create a new Cybertron here on Earth.
9. The biggest plot hole: The movie was set in “present day”! How did anyone not know what Transformers were, we have had so many series and many, many ranges of action figures, couldn’t the government just have looked on Wikipedia to see who they were and how to get rid of them :P

Sure I might be bitching about it just a little too much, sure it’s a movie, meant for pure entertainment but I spent $15 on the ticket alone and then gave them 2.5 hours of my life (plus the time to write this).

The one thing I will give the movie producers props for is the quality of the animation. The Transformers looked great, their animation was so well blended with the surrounds that you quickly forgot that they didn’t exist.

The storyline, the acting and the fact that Starscream didn’t really get much screentime was a disappointment. Sad to say I won’t be going back to see this one again and will probably give it a miss when it comes out on DVD (whichever format it ends up on).