I dreamt of him again last night. No longer tormenting his purpose now he believes is to provide comfort. But surely he understands, how I can be scared just at the site of him.
I believe him when he tells me all is now good, I trust him with my life. I see now, in hindsight that his very reason for being was a defense and no malicious intent existed!
After all how scary can one 13 year old boy be. Especially when he is little more than a dream.
Nathaniel, or Nate as he now likes to be known, says that he has now reached a place of peace. Happy to rest with-in along with the others that share this existance.
A long time ago we learned to stop saying we! And now I fear more & more that one day I will be I for good. Do they not know how I need their collective mind. Perhaps through their healing my own begins.
Nate is a smart boy, at 13 he has lived. That I suppose is yet another thing I regret. Though almost 11 years have past since Nathaniel arrived he remains the same age as the day he joined the crew. I will grow old & will no doubt forget his witt, wisdom & courage. Nate has kept me alive all these years & in this writing I hope to return at least a little for all he has been for me.
Being we is something that we have never questioned, though I have not always been this way the joining was something that seemed to complete me. Filling a void, carressing the inner me that no one ever had access to.
How many are we, we don’t know. All I know is that each of them has become part of me.