Expired

Eyes wide, mouth agape, a strange noise errupts from the depths.

I feel the carriage of air, rough below my thumbs. Am I not doing this right? His movements still strong below me, this is not quite the embrase he was expecting.

I look into his eyes and recount the years that have passed. My fear has lead me to this point.

His movement slows. The eyelids flutter they stay wide. The air no longer moves, his chest no longer attempts to rise…

At last freedom comes.

Tell Me By Touch

My life is a series of glances. I saw you once, you won’t remember. So briefly we touched as your name was conveyed. It’s amazing at times for people like me, how much more a touch says that your words never can.

I know of your betrayal, she doesn’t and that’s just as you like it. You wondering, as you shake my hand and glance around the room, will she miss you if you call at 2am and let her know you’re crashing at Jason’s? It’s so much closer and the trains aren’t running.

Shit dude, you have rehersed it all day, when will the boy grow to become a man? You haven’t even picked your next conquest… but you want it down just in case.

She doesn’t have Jason’s number. He’s just some guy at work, you know enough about him to describe his appearance and nothing more.

Your grip tightens, your hand moves away. When I’ve finished writing this down, I’ll purge this memory evermore and try to believe that a man can be true.

Clean Slate

You need to realise that this was first written on a page in a note book. On the way home in the train.

This was a perfectly good blank piece of paper… til I wrote this on it for no reason what-so-ever.

Now it is no longer blank it is no good to anyone else but me.

Having written this I best use it for something good!

But what?

How about this; close your eyes!

Nope that’s it! Had you done what I asked and closed your eyes you would not be reading this now.

Okay Okay how about this?

Letting all the gay people roam free instead of locked up for crimes against God is destroying the moral fabric of society.

Discuss!

I sometimes imagine I have the ability to bestow good fortune upon those around me. Doling it out based on what I percieve they require.

But I also believe there must be balance in the universe.

To achieve this bestowing good fortune would require removing it from another.

At times I offer my own, but I only have so much to give.

Looking around, I try and “see” who could spare a little and seeking those that may actually benefit from a little less fortune.

I understand how concieted it may sound, that I think that I, or another of my kind, would have the right or ever the inclanation to do such a thing. Sometimes it’s hard to “see” who has it to give and who merely presents a good façade.

Your people exist in a throw-away society. At the right time everything is expendable. I read today of a mother in the USA who chained her three year old to a bed because he “stole” food from her. She can do with a little misery. Likewise the two girls who have just stuffed themselves between a man and a pole, who are now trying to make his travel as uncomfortable as they can (obviously in the hope he will rise and surrender his place to them), these girls can do with some misery.

Prince once said

It’s flyer 2 be hungry than fat
The ride up front is better when U’ve been in the back

And in saying this highlights that if you always have it good, you’ll never see it any other way. You live believing you are at a low point and the only way is up.

If this is you, you can afford to share some of your good fortune.

Think only good thoughts. Me and my kind look as you do. You will never see us pass, but you’ll know we were there.

Think good thoughts and live life as you always should; Treat the man next to you as you would be treated.

Your time is brief, ours is plenty. We are always watching.

Eyes Wide, Talking Crazy

I saw him today… the father I never knew. Eyes wide, talking crazy to some non existant entity.

I know he was aware of my gaze, he returned my stare, leaving me to wonder what it is he thinks he saw.

Are my rantings any different to his? I don’t know that anyone else reads these. Is that the same as talking to someone that isn’t really there?

About Giving

Any time you meet someone you should cherish the moment. Through this meeting you have taken a little something from this person and given something in return.

Don’t look to see what it is, you may never know. Just know that life is truly all about giving.