Oh What A Night

Huge week this week, well a big couple of days (Thursday and Friday) the rest of the week was “neh” (hmmm not sure how to write that word and make it read right). This will be a kinda long entry… bear with me, there’s some good and to many surprising stuff, further on. But you have to read all the boring crap first :P

Thursday saw another era at work coming to an end, one of the best people in the office has left the company to start his own business. Charles is a fantastic guy, so likeable and freakin funny to-boot. He was with the company for almost 10 years and goes into business with another legend of the corridoors who left earlier this year. I wish him all the best and we will all miss him dearly.

Optus Christmas TicketNow for Friday… welcome to the biggest night of the year… the Optus Christmas Party. This year “Hollywood Nights” theme party was held at the Royal Melbourne Hotel, 629 Bourke Street, Melbourne. And it was awesome… and huge.

First of David and I picked up Mel and Linda. David had convinced Melissa to stop of at Coles on the way home and pick up a blonding kit… after some terrified “My hair’s gone fucking green phone calls”, the girl we picked up looked more than just a little like Annie Lennox… the unsightly green hair no where to be seen.

Once in the city we started with an intimate dinner for 10 at Taco Bills. Knowing it was going to be a big night of free-flowing drinks, we didn’t want to go in on empty stomachs. Being a cornchip-crazy I went for the Nachos Supreme, David had the Beef Burrito.

The venue for the party was a change from recent years and hopefully one they don’t repeat. It was a great space, but there were too many little sections and with around 900 people crammed in it was very easy to loose your friends.

To assist at one point I tied a helium balloon around Errol’s wrist so he could be found in the crowd more easily. He was only mildly amused I think :P

Any belief that Optus was no longer a big gay employer was blown out of the water last night. So many gay people in one space may have been a few too many.

All night all I drank was orange juice, sure they added Vodka to it, but hey what ya gonna do. Excitement reached fever pitch when someone found out the bar would actually serve you doubles! It was a mega drink-fest.

I was a cordual guest, thanking the lovely Pauley, one of the organisers and a friend, for a lovely night. And profusely thanking the fantastic bar staff at one of the six bars for being the best bar person I have dealt with. She was so appreciative. I figure it is an open bar and the poor staff have to deal with all sorts of demanding people, it’s nice to be a person who really, really says thank you. You see the staffs’ eyes light up and it makes me happy to see others happy.

Well sufice it to say, I drank a shitload of vodka… if I had to guess I maybe downed a whole bottle all by myself. We saw so many fantastic people, the Optus crowd are a lovely bunch to party with. We drank, we talked and we danced!

We left the party just after midnight, and that my friends is where the real adventure for two gay guys and two lesbians really began. Not being able to hail a cab, they were all taken, we decided to walk a little away and try our luck.

Centrefold TicketCrossing the road we were greeted on the other side by a couple of girls handing out admit two free cards for a place called Centerfold Lounge. The scantily clad woman on the ticket kind of gave away what this establishment was all about.

Never having been to such a place, David and the girls were curious… I wanted no part of it, but am glad now that we had the experience.

Centerfold is a club where the girls dance around poles wearing not much at all, and depending on how much the guys pay, wearing sometimes even less. But what surprised me (more than the naked woman hanging from the pole) was how bored the onlookers looked. And the girls were all so skinny.

At one stage we were approached by a lovely girl called Montana (did her momma give her that name?) who informed us that once of us could have a private 10 minute show for $50 or all four could have a full viewing for $20 each. And while I’m sure that such a thing would have rounded out our experience nicely we declined.

The other thing that amazed me at this place was how the girls could climb the pole with basically just their thighs. It was incredible.

BarCode Free Drink CardJust over an hour later, we emerged from Centerfold and went next door to Barcode, Free Drink Cards were given at the door and after the security guy looked us over he let us in. It was dead as… probably only about 5 other people in the place. BarCode is a bar where the big kids come to play. They have air-hockey (which was out of order – buggers) pool tables, daytona usa and many other video games. There’s also a DJ and some fantastic wait-staff.

Once our drinks were ordered (we only paid for one) we went to the pool table to sink some balls. Now some people get better at pool when they are drunk, but I was crap. So after a couple of goes, I noticed one of the waitresses was sitting near us and I sat down to have a chat.

I’m a little annoyed with myself that once I’ve had a bit to drink I have no problem approaching ANYONE and having a great conversation with a complete stranger. If I was sober I wouldn’t have even considered it. I asked the waitress all sorts of questions, and she answered everything. She was a delight.

We only stayed there for the one drink and on the way out David spotted an old arcade machine on which to players sit across from each other to play retro games, he and Melissa played Frogger!

Once the game was over, we were back on the street looking for a cab, still no luck so we decided to head to the Casino and hit the taxi rank there.

When we arrived at Crown we ended up at McDonalds in the food court, which of course is always the perfect destination at 3.30am. And after a short sit, we started to think we might be right to drive home afterall. Was it the drink talking… nope.

As we were at the casino I knew they had these boxes (which are Australian Standards approved) where you can test your own breathalizer reading. So we head off in search of such a device.

We took turns putting our dollars in. David blew 0.067 (too high), Linda 0.56 (just over). Melissa then said, “I don’t feel drunk, I reckon I’ll be under” and proceeded to blow an awe-inspiring 0.1! I however was rated 0.049 and was therefore under the legal limit. I tell you what, it must be my 6″4′ body that lets me drink like crazy, but of course it is probably more the 40 minutes or so I spent on the dancefloor with Dorina where I no doubt sweated just a little of the alcohol away.

After a quick cab trip back to the Melbourne Central car park, the girls slumbered blissed out on the back seat while we drove home. Dropped the girls off and headed home ourselves.

It was 4.30 by the time we showered and hit the bed. Only to wake again at 9am this morning.

I’ve gotten a few loads of washing out of the way, we’ve been to Coles and back, had breakfast at the local cafe and am now heading into the World of Warcraft for the day.

Bless the fact that hangovers don’t happen to us all!

3 thoughts on “Oh What A Night”

  • “Centerfold is a club where the girls dance around poles wearing not much at all, and depending on how much the guys pay, wearing sometimes even less. But what surprised me (more than the naked woman hanging from the pole) was how bored the onlookers looked. And the girls were all so skinny.”

    Yeah, down with skinny girls!

    Signed by: a not-so-skinny, 28 years old single girl looking for a man

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